This one is for the guys. I’m well aware that many guys are seeking relationships: some boys just want to have “fun”, but there are some men that are looking for commitment, so I had to write something about it to put some things into perspective concerning relationships.
When seeking a relationship, keep these things in mind:
1. God did not create you to be a player or a pimp.
Do not waste the young lady’s time or emotions with your games. If you want to commit, then do so. If you don’t, move on. It is not fair for any person to invest so much into you and a future they are expecting only to have you treat them as though they never mattered. A real man doesn’t make 100 different women fall in love with him, he commits to one and tries to find hundreds of ways to make her happy. God cannot be pleased with you treating his daughters like toys.
2. Seek her heart, not her body.
Guys, God wants you to pursue a virtuous woman, not chase skirts. Jacob is the perfect example for a man so in love that he was willing to wait seven years for her (Genesis 29:20).It felt like a few days because of how much he loved her. Even after being cheated by her father, he went through another seven-year period of waiting for the woman he desired. Until you two commit to one another at the altar, don’t combine your souls in bed. It just isn’t worth the emotional roller coaster to have your body connected to many different people.
3. Is she even virtuous?
Stop looking at curves, and look for a woman with a heart after God. It does not matter how nice they look, if their heart is not after Jesus than how can they build you up spiritually? Many women call themselves “Proverbs 31″ women and many aim to be there, but did you know that not many live that lifestyle? Proverbs 31 does not mention a woman’s looks, it focuses on her heart and character. Be careful of getting a beautiful woman who is lukewarm, more concerned about her fashion and social networks instead of evangelizing to lost souls, or a woman who is lustful instead of spiritual. The person you marry will be raising your kids, are you sure you want your kids acting like them? It does not matter if she can twerk, turn you on or she attends church occasionally. The question to ask is does she love Jesus, is she a role model and can she wait until marriage so you two can remain pure in heart and body?
4. Singleness is not a disease.
It is okay to spend time being single so you can get your life into perspective. Your life does not begin on your wedding day, so live now! Quit waiting on someone to complete you because true satisfaction does not come from man, it comes from Jesus. Colossians 2:10 says, “And ye are complete in him (Jesus), which is the head of all principality and power:. We are complete in Jesus, don’t look for anyone to fill the void in your heart that can only be filled by Jesus. This season of singleness is what helps you become a better spouse. Get your life together now before burdening your spouse with unnecessary baggage later.
5. GET A JOB/EDUCATION!
Come on, do I even have to say this? Guys, God created you as a leader and provider, quit being comfortable having the woman do everything. It is okay if she makes more money than you, but the problem is when you are lazy or have no ambition, feeling comfortable that you don’t have anything to do. Study, work, learn, excel! Be an example to younger guys and to this economy. Let her know that even if you guys go through a slump or if you don’t have a job at the moment, that you will still spend your time finding ways to provide and lead whether financially, spiritually, and emotionally.
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. It seems as though God wired us as men to be stimulated by sight, but it can turn chaotic if we go about it the wrong way. Your sex drive is normal, but can be uncontrollable if you feed your heart and mind with sinful things. Men are initiators, hunters, and even conquerors. What thrills men is the chase to get a woman, but sometimes that in turn hurts a woman because some men lose interest after they have won her heart and eventually get bored and want to move on to someone else. God said that it wasn’t good for a man to be alone so he made a woman to help him. However, I am well aware that not everyone is meant to be married, and sometimes God simply has a different purpose for them. That is fine, when single you can give more of your heart, time and resources to your purpose. Just know that whether you are chasing a relationship or not, remember to chase Jesus. Never stop following Jesus to be with anyone, whoever you end up with should help you grow spiritually.
- Tovares Grey